I feel like I’m stuck in a box which is getting smaller and smaller. It’s a scary feeling I don’t know how to deal with. The box in this case is the art academy, the graphic design department. When I first entered the box it was spacious, maybe not even a box, just a space without a roof. With all kinds of creativity, materials, and learning experiences raining down to fill the space with everything I need to make anything I want. The problem is that I feel that the teachers are taking stuff out of my beautiful box because they think it is just not for use. They keep making my box smaller and smaller so that just the thing they think is nice and useable to make a good design remains.
When I create something I do not always have a ‘valid’ reason for it (didn’t know I needed valid reasons in art). This is where my problem starts. They will ask me why did you choose this color, this composition, this type? It is the feeling that it gives me and that is something I can not possibly articulate. And if I can’t name the reasons, then my design is wrong.
I always have an idea when I start doing something and I do have a lot of reasons, I love a good concept that can make a piece strong. But I’m allowing myself to have creative coincidence, a flow and a feel and love for art(which an artist should have and I thought I was accepted to the academy for that reason). It is not always an A to Z plan, it comes the way it does. Concept or not.
Then my second problem: teachers preferences. I found out exactly what to do to get a good grade, I know what the teachers like, what their taste is, what is perceived as a good design in their eyes. But every time I make something I think is a good design, they disapprove of. Sometimes not directly, but they seem to figure out a way to push me in a certain direction. I know that is the whole point of teaching but a lot of their ideas and perception are dated. They have the familyrecipe on how to make a good design. Repeating the recipe over and over again in the same way does not make a new recipe. Changing or adding ingredients does, you can keep the core of the recipe to keep the balance right, but by renewing you take the boring out. With problem number two comes number three: the cooking itself, its all about the process they say. It’s just my process they don’t like. But what is the point of even having a process or a recipe if the same things keep coming out. They make it look like there’s only one way, one kind of process to make a good design, and you just have to stick with it to get your grade. With this behavior they are just denying that Dadaism, expressionism and pop art ever existed. They don't need to agree, they just have to keep an open mind and an open box for us students.
So these are my options. Say yes and amen, make up a concept, make up some reasons for my choices, do the process, make designs which are perceived as nice, balanced, oke. Finish the academy with some good grades. And on top off all thing, leave the academy with the smallest box ever, with a nice roof build on top so no newness and originality or different stuff can enter.
Or do I make an outcast of myself, make designs I love and which gives people a special feeling. Enter many many discussions which I can not win. Finish the school with low grades. And on top off all things, leave the academy without a box and a fresh air of creativity, coming experiences and endless beauty to mold and absorb.
Tough choice….
